Artist Statement

My narrative collages aim to present a parallel history to the world. It is a history wherein the banal becomes beastly, and the mythological becomes mundane. I support some of these endeavors with quotations from my “research,” lending the works all the reliability of a Wikipedia entry and the gravity of The Evil Dead’s Necromonicon.

In juxtaposing disparate cultural forms, I hope to underscore the value judgments that various segments of society make on creative and intellectual thought processes. The collages pair art against humor, text against image, and academic knowledge against popular passions. In doing so, I hope to establish a stage on which these battles may finally begin the process of reconciliation.

No photo-manipulation is utilized. I construct each composition from found images, scissors, and glue. It is my effort at recycling the glut of visual imagery that an individual encounters in her daily existence.

Availability of Works

All works are available direct from me, unless they are already noted as unavailable.

A few may be viewed at the 311 West Martin Street Galleries and Studios and at Flanders Art Gallery in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Prices depend on complexity and framed/unframed status, but they range from $20-$100. I may barter them in exchange for goods and services, also. Email laurenelaineturner@gmail.com to purchase or to be added to the email update list.

See the archives to find all entries for all pieces.

Happy Summer!

Artist Books

Fourteen Revisionist History Moments have been collected in a sixteen-page booklet entitled Great Moments in World History, Being an Illustrated Tribute to the Defining Moments of Human Civilization and a Celebration of Its Accomplishments. The book is black and white, hand-sewn, and 5.5 x 4.5." They sell for $5 each at Flanders Art Gallery and 311 West Martin Galleries and Studios.

Additionally, an illustrated collaborative pamplet has been produced by myself and four contributors. A Modern Bestiary, To Be Used by Students In The Field For The Pursuit And Capture Of Mysterious And Dangerous Creatures is twenty pages, black and white, and 8.5 x 5.5." Each copy is $4 and also available at Flanders Art Gallery and 311 West Martin Galleries and Studios. Contributions from Jeremy Griffin, Jon Leon, Julius Leak, and Ross White.

Digital Prints of Works

I am creating some of my collages in 5.5 x 3.5" digital copies mounted on gessoed wood in editions of 20. They are drilled and ready to hang. Ones available include:

Bill and the Decepticons
Cast Away Review
Choose Your Own Adventure No. 45
Dating Goth Chicks
Death's Job Satisfaction
Father Time Alarm Service
Freedom Is Not Free
Kris Kristofferson
Kryptonian Roaches
Large Paintings
Little Susie's Worldliness
Man Vs. Nature
Oberon and the Forest of the Fairies
Og as Roomie
Oscar Wilde
Passover
Pregnancy Test
Red Room FBI File
Revisionist History Moment No. 41089
Revisionist History Moment No. 47011
Revisionist History Moment No. 47822
Revisionist History Moment No. 53587
Revisionist History Moment No. 56923
Room of Requirement
Room with a View VII
That Kind of Party
Yoda's Old Lady

Albatross and Shell from the Deep

Caption:

Between the Ill-fated albatross and the Bad Breath Shell, Eduardo was not going to enjoy himself on this shore leave.

Life in the City

Caption:

Rick from Wings N’ Things thought he had the traffic on this street cornered until Vic’s Trattoria busted out its Bacchus act.

Out-Vamped

Caption:

Barbara didn’t think that anything could trump the French Maid suit for sexiness, but she hadn’t gauged just how far Claudette was willing to go to win Ralph’s love.

Slice of the South

Caption:

Animation cel from Disney’s Song of the South, first cut

Visitors from Outer Space

Caption:

If Ted and Sue were representative of all alien life forms, then the people of Valle Crucis were going to declare the universe an off-putting, poor-tipping disappointment.

East Meets West

Caption:

“Starting next Thursday at 9/8 central, America’s Next Top Model will present Cat Fight: When East Meets West.”
- CW press release, September 8, 2010

Making Them Look Bad

Caption:

Popeye had grown tired of cleaning up the messes of an inept pothead. He decided to use his next can of spinach to take the mutt on a nice trip to the country.

Dominion of the Air

Caption:

“Sure, fairies and bumblebees can seem harmless - until you’ve witnessed a battle for the dominion of the air.”
- John James Audubon, Impressions from My Winged Field Studies

Batman

Caption:

Batman lost so many girlfriends not because of his double life, but because of how long it took him to get ready for a date.

Spring Break Rental

Caption:

Pam, Greg, and Corey understood the risks, but Michael Myers had such a cheap rental cottage, even in Spring Break season.

Children's Television Turf War

Caption:

“‘Fuck this shit: I can’t work with this whore!’ the Fraggle screamed.”
-Untold Story of Children’s Television, p. 114

Zacchaeus

Caption:

Zacchaeus was no stranger to the sycamore tree, as every woman without window drapes well knew.

Revisionist History Moment No. 53587

Caption:

Revisionist History Moment No. 53587 – December 19, 2008
While goofing around during the lame duck period of his office, George W. Bush presses the red button.

10 1/2 x 8 1/4"

Revisionist History Moment No. 45998

Caption:

Revisionist History Moment No. 45998 – February 18, 1917
Austria’s Charles I and his minister Ottokar Czernin discover that the first things to go in a failing empire are the interior decorators.

8 5/8 x 4 7/8"

Accursed Bird

Caption:

Edmund doesn’t like looking emo and dirty, but he cannot bathe until that accursed bird leaves the tub.

Last of His Kind

Caption:

After years spent exploring the world in the name of life, love, and gold, Boogle returns to find that he is the last of his kind.

God's Blog Post

Caption:

“I’m as guilty as the Next when it comes to reading the gossip rags and watching E!, but I really cannot relax the idols commandment if you raise them right outside My House. lol!”
-God’s blog post to the world, April 5, 2010

Revisionist History Moment No. 44678

Caption:

Revisionist History Moment No. 44678 – June 4, 1886
On their honeymoon, Frances Folsom Cleveland realizes that, president or not, a boring old guy is her new husband.

Keys to Marks Crossing

Caption:

Charles couldn’t help but wonder if Peter was faking his enthusiasm over receiving the keys to Marks Crossing.

5 1/4 x 3 7/8"

Scenic View (Unavailable)

Caption:

Scenic View, Maryland

Popular interstate turn-off known for its drinking, debauchery, and all-around good times.

3 1/2 x 5"

Who's Laughing Now?

Caption:

Sure, everyone had laughed at Gus’s choice to adopt a historical reenactment lifestyle. But with gas at $3.50/gallon, who was laughing now?

4 1/4 x 3 3/8"

Galaxy Creator

Caption:

Roger realized that in all his years of searching, he had never really believed that he would find and meet the Galaxy Creator. And yet, here he was.

4 3/4 x 4"

Herbert at the Prom

Caption:

This year Herbert had his pick of dates to the prom.

6 3/4 x 3 3/8"

Receipt Confirmation

Caption:

Todd did not understand why the United States Postal Service even allowed receipt confirmation for crack babies.

10 1/4 x 5 1/2"

Arctic Substation Surveillance

Caption:

“One of the suspects from this satellite photo is responsible for murdering the entire staff of Arctic Substation 89.”
-Interpol bulletin, filed Nov. 20, 1987

6 5/8 x 7 1/4"

Glass House

Caption:

“What did you really expect? I live in a Glass house.”
-April Tanneman’s plea to indecent exposure charge, August 18, 1987

7 1/4 x 7 1/2"

Pregnancy Test

Caption:

“It’s going to be okay, Eleanor; it says that one line means you’re not pregnant!” Anne exclaimed.

6 1/4 x 4 1/8"

Freedom Is Not Free

Caption:

Freedom isn’t free, especially when one has to abide by child labor restrictions.

12 1/2 x 8 1/4"

Showboating at the Rapture

Caption:

Just because the Rapture chooses you doesn’t mean you should start showboating.

4 3/4 x 5 1/2"

Room with a View VII

Caption:

“After eighteen years together, they found themselves back where they had first met – pimping and whoring on the Arno.”
- excerpt, A Room with a View VII: the Final Showdown, approved by the estate of E.M. Forster

10 1/2 x 4 3/8"

Oological Worshippers

Caption:

Tea at Hannah’s was so much more fun before she was born again in the Church of the Oological Worshippers.

7 5/8 x 8 1/8"

Revisionist History Moment No. 47822

Caption:

Revisionist History Moment No. 47822 – June 8, 1951
At another of his notorious parties, Richard Nixon earns his lasting Senate nickname, “T&A Dick.”

10 1/4 x 8 1/4"

Rebellion

Caption:

Richard hit his midlife crisis of rebellion, and the city found itself with a new challenge to the drought.

6 5/8 x 6 1/8"

Vogue Fashion Tips

Caption:

“Just because you’re invisible and on a budget doesn’t mean you can’t be the belle of the ball.”
-Vogue fashion tips, October 1995

8 1/8 x 8"

Revisionist History Moment No. 43599

Caption:

Revisionist History Moment No. 43599 – September 25, 1863
Abraham Lincoln realizes that, if this is the best rebuttal that Lee has to the Emancipation Proclamation, then the Union will win the war.

8 7/8 x 11 1/4"

Randy the Rhino

Caption:

Randy the Rhino wished that Greenpeace would leave him alone.

9 3/4 x 12 5/8"

Death's Job Satisfaction

Caption:

Death found a particular satisfaction in his job when it came to dealing with ex-girlfriends.

10 1/2 x 11 1/8"

Revisionist History Moment No. 41162

Caption:

Revisionist History Moment No. 41162 – August 18, 1777
George Washington and the Marquis de Lafayette take a break from the war to travel the world in search of those Japanese twins that they met in the tavern.

11 1/8 x 11 1/4"

Little Susie's Worldliness

Caption:

Little Susie had only known the world’s ways for five months, but even she knew that it couldn’t bode well to be placed at the foot of Priestess Xlactlx’s sacrificial altar.

10 1/4 x 12 1/2"

Revisionist History Moment No. 41089

Caption:

Revisionist History Moment No. 41089 – December 29, 1758
Saucy Martha Custis enlists supernatural help to make George Washington forget Sally Fairfax and woo her instead.

10 7/8 x 11 3/8"

Bart the Kid

Caption:

The cries of help could be heard all the way to Jack’s homestead, but he arrived too late. Bart the Kid had ruined another sunset in paradise.

3 5/8 x 5 1/2"

Kant's Sublime

Caption:

“Of course, any vista, no matter how sublime, will be marred by an invading army.”
-Immanuel Kant’s Critique of Judgment

7 1/2 x 3 7/8"

Edith Austen excerpt

Caption:

“Dear Diary,
What a conundrum! How must I traverse the path ahead of me? Sir Knickers of Bloomfield has at long last requested my hand, but upon my acceptance, he confided in me a scandal most horrid – he suffers from a disease of Venus! Perhaps I could come to terms with this most heinous of afflictions, but on the very day of his suit, Lord Puffington acceded to my demands and turned Lady Mary to debtor’s prison. He is now free of both wife and the tyranny of her tailors. And then he said he wished only for me. However, when I encountered him today at the Duchess of Danbury’s tea, he claimed no recollection of this conversation and attributed it solely to opium! Dare I believe it and at last turn my mind away from him? Should I risk an infectious union with Sir Knickers? O, how I long for the counsel of my first love, but I have sat here by his grave these four days with nary a sign from above.”
- unpublished excerpt by Jane Austen’s younger, heretofore unknown, sister Edith, from novel entitled Why I Prefer the Embraces of the Female Sex

14 1/2 x 7 3/4"

Choose Your Own Adventure No. 45

Caption:

“I’m bored,” said Jane.
“Well, what do you want to do?” asked Pat.
“How about dance?” responded Lewis.
“You always want to dance. I’m sick of it. What if we go explore that creepy house at the end of Sycamore Lane?” asked Jane.
-To spend the night in the old Hertfield Mansion, turn to page 98.
-To keep fighting about what to do until everyone says something they regret, turn to page 17.
-To overdose on Quaaludes in the name of privileged youth’s ennui, turn to page 59.

Page 3 of Choose Your Own Adventure No. 45: Hookers and Heroin!

11 1/4 x 8 1/4"

Guardian Fashion Angel

Caption:

Eugene had long desired the counsel of a guardian fashion angel, but he never knew that one could be such a bitch.

8 3/4 x 7 1/2"

Linda's Bar's Secret Storage Room (Unavailable)

Caption:

Artist’s Rendering, Imagined Interior of Secret Storage Room in Linda’s Bar